Back to the Basics – Husbands

husband-wifeWell ladies, we have had quite the journey together haven’t we?¬† We have gotten to know each other (except for the few beautiful ladies who are remaining mysterious ūüėČ , prayed for each other, encouraged each other, and have done some challenges together.¬† Now it’s time to go back to the basics.

Today, and everyday, we are going to focus our hearts and minds on our husbands.¬† (It’s always God first remember!).¬† Let me explain why. ¬†¬†Genesis 1:26-27 “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, …So God create man in His own image, in the image of God he created him…” ¬†God created man first, and then He created his helpmate, Eve.¬† God did not want Adam to be alone, so He gave Him Eve.¬† Eve is Adam’s equal, but Adam is still the head of the home.¬† Paul explains in Ephesians 5 this way:

¬†” 23¬†For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. “

The world definitely does not agree with this.  The world would have us believe in order to be happy, we ourselves must come first.  Not true!  This does not mean your husband is greater than you or has total control over you.  It means your husband must follow Christ and lead in His example.

How do I put my husband first?  I am so glad you asked!

  • By praying for him (not for God to change him, nice try), for God to touch his heart, and lead the family in the direction which God would have you all go. Ask God to change YOU for your husband and His service.
  • ¬†By being submissive to him.¬† Aha!¬† Lost a few of you didn’t I?¬† We do hate that word don’t we?¬† The world calls submission letting someone have total control over you, being a doormat.¬† Not in God’s definition!!!!¬† God defines submission to our husbands as a loving acknowledgment of another’s value as a person.
  • By doing little things to bring him joy.¬† Not talking about sex here, that’s later.¬† I’m talking about leaving him little love notes each day, setting out his comfy clothes to change into when he gets home from work, telling him “I love you” as often as you can.¬† Let God lead you on what would bring your husband this joy.
  • By not with-holding sex from him.¬† Denying your husband sex should never be used as punishment.¬† The Bible is very clear on this subject.¬† Paul explains in 1 Corinthians 7 this way:

“3¬†The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4¬†The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5¬†Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

Sex between a husband and wife is a beautiful thing!  God created us to be one flesh, and that only happens when we submit to our husbands and lovingly, freely make love with him.  This will strengthen your relationship with each other, with God, and a closeness that comes from it cannot be equaled by anything else.

  • Do not bad mouth your husband to anyone at any time!¬† We are to build him up, not tear him down.¬† Again, God is very clear on this subject.

Proverbs 12:4 ¬†“A wife of noble character is her husband‚Äôs crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.” ¬†and again in Ephesians: “29¬†Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

This does not mean if you are having difficulty you cannot seek help, but go to God and your husband first, not to your friends or Facebook.

  • Do not go to bed angry. It solves nothing and causes a huge rift between you and your husband.¬† Do not send him or yourself out of the room to spend the night elsewhere.¬† God brought you together, DO NOT tear it apart.

Ephesians 4:31″ Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32¬†Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”¬†and again in verse 26-27 “26¬†‚ÄúIn your anger do not sin‚ÄĚ[a]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27¬†and do not give the devil a foothold.”

Marriage is a partnership with God, your husband, and you.¬† If you keep all this in perspective, and follow God’s Word on marriage, I promise you, your marriage will only get better!¬† It will not be perfect, because we are not perfect, but it will be better.¬† Come on, what have you got to lose?¬† Let’s love our husbands!!!

“4¬†As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2¬†Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3¬†Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4¬†There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; 5¬†one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6¬†one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.”

Question:¬†What is one thing you can do to be submissive to your husband? Remember God defines submission to our husbands as a loving acknowledgment of another’s value as a person. So what is it that you can do to show this submission to him? Be honest…we cannot change what we do not know. Ask God to search your heart on this one.

Question: What is holding you back from being the wife God has called you to be? If you are unsure, ask God to reveal to you what walls you have placed between you and your husband. Remember, honesty is very important here.

Question: What is one area in your marriage you struggle with, and how are you going to overcome it?

Our journey together this week has been a long one. We have put our marriages at the forefront of our thoughts, and for many of us, it’s the first time in a very long time. We have answered some pretty tough questions, and been honest with ourselves.¬†Our hearts have been moved, often to the point of tears, as our sisters here have shared their personal journeys with us. We have been so supportive of each other, and have joined in unity to ban satan from our marriages. This will be the last question of the week on our husbands. I am asking you all to pray and seek God before you answer it. Make a list of all the things you do on a daily basis, and put them in order of importance. Be very specific on this..for example if every day you exercise list it…if you call your mom..list it. Even if it’s something as simple as taking out the trash, list it. Now, look back on that list….where is your husband on it? Did you remember to list him near the top? He should be, right under God. If he isn’t near the top, or he isn’t on your list at all…why not? How can you re-priortize your daily life to include your husband? I would like to leave you all with something my Grandy told me a long time ago when I was pregnant with my first child. I was living in Ohio at the time, and my family was all in Colorado. They had a baby shower for me, and went around the room on film asking people to give me advice on being a new mom. Grandy’s advice is the only one I remember, and it still rings in my head. She said, “Don’t forget your husband.” be blessed, be loved, and remember, don’t forget your husband.

Submitted by KD for the GIft of the Home Group.  Thank you!

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