1. Ask your husband “How can I pray for you today?” I know that sometimes I think I know just what Hubs needs me to pray but in most cases I’m way off the mark! Stormie Omartian’s book Power of the Praying Wife Devotional is an amazing resource!
“First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people.” 1 Timothy 2:1 ESV.
2. Ask your husband “What are your goals for the week; for today?” You may be asking, why? If we know what he’s up against then we can help him, be accommodating. What if he’s working a major project and his mind is totally focused on that? Wouldn’t it be better to know that instead of getting upset or feeling neglected if he doesn’t respond in his typical way? I think it makes me more sense to know.
“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:4 ESV.
3. Ask your husband “How can I help you accomplish your goals for the week; for today?” Remember, we are his helper. In any way we can glorify him, we are also glorifying Christ.
“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 ESV.
4. Ask your husband “Is there anything I can do differently that would make it easier for you?” Within a month we moved from New Mexico to Texas. When I got to Texas Hubs had been sleeping in our home, in a closet no less (it was the only place with carpeting) for a week. No furniture ~ nothing. The day after I got there he left for a six day hitch. It was up to me to set up house after the movers came. Of course, I did everything my way. When Hubs came home from the hitch his way and my way… well, just say they were two different things. I forgot what works for me doesn’t necessarily work for him.
“I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.” 1 Corinthians 7:7 ESV.
5. Be organized with cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, etc. As we fulfill our God-given responsibilities, then our husbands are free to do his work. Now this isn’t just for him, you know! The more organized we are the easier our lives are. We can put our focus on what really matters.
“But all things should be done decently and in order.” 1 Corinthians 14:40 ESV.
6. Save some of your energy for him at the end of the day. There are so many demands on us throughout the day…children, work, home-keeping, etc. We have to learn to balance our commitments so we aren’t exhausted. (see #5)
“Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun.” Ecclesiastes 9:9 ESV.
7. Put your husband first! Over your children, your parents, your friends, your job, etc. We were wives before we are mothers. We are wives after our children leave to venture into the world. Our husbands will be with us through it all.
8. Be willing and cheerful if your schedule has to change for him when necessary.
“Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” 2 Corinthians 9:7 ESV.
9. Talk about your husband to others in a positive light. Do not slander him, even if what you are saying is true.
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29 ESV.
10. Do whatever you can to make him look good, to help him accomplish his goals. Think about ways you can do this…run errands for him, pray for him and make good suggestions.
“As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good.” 2 Thessalonians 3:13 ESV.
11. Consider the things you are involved in. Do they glorify your husband?
“For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.” Romans 12:3 ESV.
12. Be warm and gracious to his family, friends and co-workers. Make your commitment to him obvious to others. Let Christ shine through you.
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” John 13:34 ESV.
I’m sure that we can come up with more but this is a good start!
My copy of The Excellent Wife is a second hand copy. At the bottom of this page someone wrote “What! What about the husband?”
“Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” James 3:13-18 ESV.
From my experience with this marriage thing, the more I uplift Hubs the more he uplifts me. Goes around comes around? Maybe. But the point is to honor and glorify Christ in all we do. God’s Word is perfectly clear… would He ever steer us wrong?!
Until we meet again… In Love…