This week has been a quiet one… a week of reflection, a week of heavy thoughts. A time of leaning in closer to Him. A time of praising Him more. A time of worshiping Him more. A time of studying His word closer.
I have not been a bundle of energy. I haven’t been experiencing God as I have before. I haven’t been feeling Him in the same way, the sense of utter excitement. I haven’t been hearing Him as clearly.
I feel as if He has stepped away from me for a time. Please, dear friends, don’t take this the wrong way. I know He is still with me. I love Him with all I am. I’m not experiencing Him in the same way.
I miss the way I was growing in Him. I miss how excited I was at every turn as I learned something new. I miss the worship songs touching my heart and causing tears to flow.
During Quiet Time this morning this 1 Corinthians 13:11 – 12 spoke to me. “It’s like this: When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child does. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows now.”
As I meditated on His words it came to me, the excitement, the wonder are like that of a child in an amusement park for the first time. I am no longer a child. I no longer have to have that same child like excitement.
God is telling me it’s time to grow up, to mature in Him. Imagine how frustrated He must become treating me like a child over and over again.
As a child, I needed to be told what to do. God needed to continually remind me of His love and His presence in my life.
As a child, I remained close to others that felt the same way I as did about God. I spent much time and energy worrying about what others thought about me, my beliefs. I was stumbling slowly finding out who I am in Christ. God is telling me to get on with it and be who He created me to be.
As I child, I wasted time. I stayed close to Him through the Gift of the Home, continually checking and re checking everything. God is telling me to let go. God is telling me to step back into my life, stronger because He is stronger in me.
As a child, I babbled (oh how I hate to admit this. I’m so sorry Hubs!). I had God growing stronger every day. I wanted to express the feelings, the thoughts, all I was learning. God is telling me He is with me. God is telling me He will be with me and that not everything needs to be expressed repeatedly.
God is telling me it’s time to put the childish ways away. God is telling me that by holding onto these ways I will not become the best me He created me to be. God is telling me the emotionalism is not the only way to experience Him. God is telling me He doesn’t want me to stay where I am. God is saying He wants me to grow more into the likeness of Jesus.
God has not left me. God has just changed where He stands with me. God is telling me my experiences with Him will be richer if I allow myself to mature.
It’s time to grow up.