This past week had been a difficult one, I struggled with some areas in my life.  Areas that I felt sure of… areas that, for me, were areas of trust, of growth, of love.

You may be saying, “Why didn’t you pray?”  I was on my knees, I was praying but I was not understanding, not hearing. Here I had been drawing closer to God, I was feeling Him, learning deeper truths about His love and now I felt as if  I was in the midst of an enemy attack; on me, on the ones I am closest to.

My mind was a jumble of thoughts of trying to make things “right”.  I was more than uncomfortable. I was experiencing the heat through discomfort and adversity. Everything seemed to be falling apart.  I didn’t have the words to convey what I was going through.  The words I did speak, I felt, were misunderstood.

As the pressures mounted, I did what many of us are prone to do…I began to focus on how to change things to bring me to a comfortable place.  Yet, try as I did, I just became more frustrated, exhausted by trying to say words that wouldn’t come, by not understanding what was going on, by not getting answers.  My patience was wearing thin.   Though I was asking God to make the situation clear to me, the answers didn’t happen the instant I asked – His answer had to work its way into my understanding.

I was feeling helpless, fearful and uncertain… the time when the devil moves in.  And he did, quickly and with power.  Causing turmoil in my friendships; dividing and separating us.

I can’t be right with God and wrong with you. So anything the devil can stir up between us is to his benefit and destroys us. It steals our joy.  You can’t be bitter towards someone or unforgiving and then have inner peace. It separates us from God as well as the other person.

I didn’t realize that God was in the process of purifying my life to keep me moving forward with His plan for me.  I didn’t realize, sometimes the enemy’s attacks and His refining power look-alike.  Since I didn’t realize that God was in the process of refining me – I didn’t allow Him to work by cooperating and allow Him to remove what was impure in me, instead rebelled against His refining fire.  I didn’t look for the ways that God was using my difficulties to refine me.

I needed to learn patience while awaiting answers from Him.  I needed to learn patience so as not to allow the devil a strong-hold.  I needed to learn to keep leaning in to Him.  I needed to learn that if I see a negative situation in my life it as a means for God to work good in me, changing me on a deeper level.  God wants to purify our lives of the things that keep us from moving forward with His plan for us.

The sacrifice of Jesus is to reconcile us back to a relationship with God shows just how much He values us… even when we are lost.  God sees us not as full of impurity but full of potential.  God loves us too much to leave us just as we are.  Our impure self cannot reflect all He is.  Our fullest joy is realizing in the growing light our reflection of Him in our lives.

I pray that my deepest, closest friends (KD and CF) forgive me for allowing the devil a foothold in our relationship.  I pray they can forgive the words spoken. I pray they can understand that our walks are not the same, God works in each of us differently.   I pray that our relationship  can be restored stronger as it was before.


Hosea 6:1-2 says, “He has torn us to pieces but He will heal us; He has injured us but He will bind up our wounds.  After two days He will revive us; on the third day He will restore us, that we may live in His presence.”

refining fire

5 thoughts on “Fire

  1. sounds a lot like my last month. ((((Donna – and friends))))

    I love hearing about refining processes, and the way that we respond…It is good for me to know I’m not alone in my own process, but God is at work. One thing a dear friend told me a few years ago, is that in that process, when the fire gets hot, it is for the purpose of melting the precious metal to the point that the dross can separate from it. When I see the YUCk (the pride, anger, etc.) float to the top in the process of my refining, my initial reaction is surprise, then irritation with myself…how could I be so mean? I am not a hateful person, how could I say that?…but really, it all came to the top so that the Refiner could remove it. It’s good to be melted and disconnected from that yuck. Of course, apologies are always in order, and confession…that’s just agreeing with God about what’s in your heart, and asking Him to remove it…all part of the process.

    From one hot pot to another…you’ll know you’re properly refined when the Refiner sees his reflection in you.


  2. Thank you for the encouragement, Lyn…it’s greatly needed right now. This journey is not without difficulties, not without heartache. Yet I know the end result is what matters, to be with Him. It’s just painful to go through things and lose things/people that are close to you because of your rebellion. Knowing I will continue shows me that He’s working in me. Praise Him!

  3. Oh my most loved D! I praise and thank God each and every day for bringing us together! Yes, we all went thru the fire, some more than once (me), but God has refined us all for His glorious purpose! My sweet, dear friend, just as nothing can separate you from the love of Christ, nothing can separate us from each other. You have learned and keep learning God’s truth so much faster than I ever did! I cannot wait to see what He has in store for you! I will be with you til the end, and then we can dance in heaven together! I love you so very much! God bless you for your heart, your compassion, your humility and above all else for your love for Him!

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