Gone

download (7)He’s gone.   Even though this hitch is only until Monday…he’s gone.  I know that this is a part of our life, I know it’s not an option, I know he has to go but he’s gone.

It begins when the bag starts to be packed, making sure he has everything for the hitch.  It seems he starts pulling away from me then.  He gets into work mode, he’s mind pulling away.  Does he do this to make it easier for him to leave?

Every time I drop him off the same emotions run through me…sadness, loneliness.  I miss him so much and my heart aches at the thought of him being away.  I pray that he and the crew will be safe.

I don’t get to see his smile, I don’t get to feel his touch, I don’t get to feel his strong arms around me, I don’t get to snuggle up to him as I sleep.  I miss him.  He’s my best friend, he’s my lover, he’s my world.

I wake up the first day of the hitch alone.  I don’t feel together.  I force myself to get dressed.  I look at  my plan for the day and don’t want to do any of it.  I sit in the quiet of our home, he’s gone and I miss him.  I miss the noise, I miss the laughter, I miss him.

I carry my phone with me every where I go, hoping he gets a break or has service to text me or call me.  I want to hear his voice, to know he’s okay, to hear him say “I love you”.

I never thought that I could feel this way about another.  This love that fills my heart every second of the day.  I want him near me, close to me. But for right now, he’s gone.

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2 thoughts on “Gone

  1. Yes ma’am, relate I did… I too hate the emptiness when he’s gone, everybody tells me “well you have your kids” yes I do, & I love my children with everything inside of me & more… & yes they keep me busy, but the same way none can take their place, none can take his. When the other half of you is gone, you feel this burning emptiness inside that not many understand. I definitely feel you on this post girl, & I miss my fat boy! 😦

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