It begins when the bag starts to be packed, making sure he has everything for the hitch. It seems he starts pulling away from me then. He gets into work mode, he’s mind pulling away. Does he do this to make it easier for him to leave?
Every time I drop him off the same emotions run through me…sadness, loneliness. I miss him so much and my heart aches at the thought of him being away. I pray that he and the crew will be safe.
I don’t get to see his smile, I don’t get to feel his touch, I don’t get to feel his strong arms around me, I don’t get to snuggle up to him as I sleep. I miss him. He’s my best friend, he’s my lover, he’s my world.
I wake up the first day of the hitch alone. I don’t feel together. I force myself to get dressed. I look at my plan for the day and don’t want to do any of it. I sit in the quiet of our home, he’s gone and I miss him. I miss the noise, I miss the laughter, I miss him.
I carry my phone with me every where I go, hoping he gets a break or has service to text me or call me. I want to hear his voice, to know he’s okay, to hear him say “I love you”.
I never thought that I could feel this way about another. This love that fills my heart every second of the day. I want him near me, close to me. But for right now, he’s gone.