Tolle tells me today that pain that you create now is always some form of non-acceptance, and unconscious resistance to what is. That if you don’t face your thoughts, you will be forced to relive it again and again. That what you need to do is realize that all you have is the present moment. To make the present the primary focus of your life. Okay, yes, I get that the present is all that we have, it is one of my words to work on.
I’ve been attempting, really I have, to listen to the voice in my head more. But it seems that the more I listen impartially to my thoughts the more out of touch I become, more distant. I’ve also noticed that I’ve been achy and not feeling well. Oh wow, Tolle says that at this stage, your mind may also create physical aches and pains. (and no I did not read ahead!) He claims the moment that if you identify with pain you are again feeding on your thoughts.
This entire thing has me feeling out of sorts, achy and not happy. How can I possibly be an observer when this is all a part of me? Tolle has an answer for that too! That there is pleasure in what I’m feeling! Seriously? I’m not feeling any pleasure right now…irritated but not pleasure.
I’m not a quitter by nature but guess what? I’m done. I’m done hearing someone say that my thoughts are pain, that I’m out of touch. I feel like there are times I’m too much in touch with my thoughts. So what to do? Do I continue to read and get myself all worked up? Or do I just put the book away and learn to stay in the present myself?
My intention was not to keep replaying the past or to relive it. My intention was not to keep looking to the future. My intention was to be fully present in each moment. My intention was to concentrate on what I’m doing as I’m doing. My intention was to be present in love as I believe God intends us to be.
With that being said, Mr. Tolle, I respectfully put your book aside and work in the way God would have me do! I really thought in the first few pages it would help me but I’m sorry to say that it didn’t.
My thoughts are my thoughts, they may not always be the best of thoughts, but I do have way out when they aren’t… it’s called The Word.
What would you do? Would you continue to read on thinking that it may get better? Or would you do what I have and put it aside? Please tell me your thoughts…