I didn’t always want to be a child of God. There I said it! Ever since I was a little girl I searched for “the source”. I didn’t grow up with religion, church or God. There were things that were done, being baptized as an infant, but there was no feeling of God. I wasn’t taught about God. I’ve gone through so many stages of looking for the answers but they seemed to make life more difficult so I would just give up the search. I would take control of my life and think I was doing the right things. I wasn’t an atheist, just didn’t look for answers anymore.
Then about two years ago I started to pray. It felt like my life was spinning out of control and I had no way to stop it. I had choices to make and I didn’t want to make them. I was scared inwardly but didn’t let anyone know what I was going through except God. I wasn’t getting “answers” but I wasn’t giving up either. I figured I’d just wait until God got around to me. I figured that I had tried on my own and didn’t get anywhere so I might as well wait.
May 31, 2011 was a night that will be permanently etched in my memory. That night seemed like the worst night of my life! I was hurt, my children were hurt, and my life as I knew it was over! There were so many feelings running through me I didn’t know what one to deal with first, so I didn’t deal with any of them. I just began to give everything up to God and put one foot in front of the other.
The next two months were a nightmare! I lost over twenty pounds, I was scared to leave my home, I was scared to stay in my home. But there was also a feeling of safety if that makes sense? I was looking for a new home but the rent was more than I could handle. I was afraid. Then a home just seemed to drop out of the sky for me…I home that put me safely where I needed to be. I knew that God was working on my behalf, there just isn’t another way to explain it. When people learned that I was moving things really began to happen…my move was orchestrated without any input from me.
The day I moved into my new home I could barely stop crying… believe me it wasn’t because it was the home of my dreams! It was because I realized just how much I was loved. So many people gave up their day to get me away from an awful situation. They packed and unpacked. They didn’t do it because they had to but because they wanted to. I think, that was truly the first time in my life I felt loved.
That night I got to my knees and completely gave myself over to God and the life He had planned for me. There has been no turning back. Since that day, I have tried to put God first in everything that I did. I’m not saying that I totally succeeded but it was my intention.
Today during Quiet Time I was reading Matthew 6:32″…Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs and he will give you all you need from day-to-day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.” See? God does work on the behalf of those who love him ~ I’m living proof! Quiet time also gave me this today, “the only way to find out if a promise is true is to respond to the invitation. The promises of God always require a response of faith.”
Flash forward to November 2011, I decide that I’m willing to put myself out into the dating world again. I begin to chat with a man who makes me feel so comfortable, makes me laugh and takes a genuine interest in me and my life. We continue to chat until December 29th when we meet for the first time. I didn’t believe that there really was love at first sight but now I do! Because on February 24th 2012 we were married! And in March 2012 we moved to San Antonio to begin a new life together.
God has blessed me in ways that I never could have dreamed! I put my faith in Him and responded to His invitation! I know what path I need to be on, God’s.
What invitations have you received from God lately? I’d love to hear your stories!